$.99 Salmon and Chips

Casinos, in my humble and probably unworthy opinion, are a weird phenomenon. The casino is a place where you go, usually with your friends, to spend money in the hopes of gaining more money but armed with the knowledge that you're probably going to end up losing money. I mean, I get that casinos are just another form of entertainment, much like a movie, sports game or going out to eat, but at least I know that when I drop $10 for Avatar or $65 to see Coldplay (because let's face it, I'm the person who is going to be attending a concert far more often than a Blazer's game) or $30 on sushi, I'm getting something somewhat tangible back: A 3D-thrill ride, Chris Martin's forehead sweat and the best nourishment handily known to mankind. Dropping money at a casino? Well that just makes me feel cheap and used.

I bring up casinos in major part (Okay, in total part) to my commute to work today.

Sidebar: How sweet is it that I actually have a commute to work now? It's like I'm a real, live adult with a real, live job. End Sidebar.

While heading into the Terwilliger curves this gray Monday morning on I-5 southbound, I swerved past a semi that had an advertisement plastered on its backside for a casino. The new frugalista in me (Ugh, kick me next time you see me for using 'ista' as an actual suffix in my writing) immediately noticed the giant red "$.99" painted in the middle of the advertisement.

"What could possibly be just 99 cents?" I wondered as I veered abruptly between lanes (Those curves are scary and if you're not careful, quite dangerous, too. They should ban trucks with ads that boast of cheapness for that reason), coming dangerously close to a woman applying lipstick (Sure, talking on your cell phone is now a primary offense in Oregon but feel free to apply your Covergirl Clear Last Lipshine until the cows come home).

Turns out, a lot of things at Angel of the Winds casino, a Vegas-style casino up in Washington (Hey, I can Google) will cost you less than a dollar: You can dine on, what I'm sure is made of the finest, freshest and most local ingredients, strawberry shortcake, biscuits and sausage gravy, pepperoni French bread pizza, a corndog and French fries, Katie's famous chili (Famous maybe only because it's advertised on the back of a semi?) and, my personal favorite, salmon and chips.

Salmon? For $.99? You can't be serious. I might be cutting back on my food spending budget (My shrinking waistline shows the damage that a menu of coffee, tea, bread and the occasional piece of fruit will do to a person) but I am in no way, that desperate for a steal of a deal. The addition just simply doesn't make sense: There is no way that potatoes and oil costs less than a dollar, let alone salmon, breading and the oil needed to fry it in costs less than a buck (And let's not forget the costs of labor, shipping, storage and service supplies). I might not be a business major and math may no longer be a forte of mine but I've got enough common sense locked up in my brain to just say no to fish that costs less than a dollar.

Especially when it comes from a casino.

Rags or Riches?

Apparently I make too much money money to be considered 'in need.' That's right--I was denied, via snail mail, funds for food stamps today. My cupboards are beyond bare, my fridge is 'stocked' with two three-week-old apples, but my 10-cents-above-minimum-wage job is too beneficial for me to receive help from my state government.

Which I don't really get, especially when I read an article that describes a man "living in a $750,000 Southwest Portland home...owns two BMWs but is now unemployed and receives nearly $400 in food stamps a month after he lost his job." I live in an old school studio with a less-than-reliable heater and still-busted pipe, make $800 a month and have $695 of bills a month yet somehow, somehow don't qualify for food stamps.

Another article released yesterday revealed data that shows 36 percent of Oregonians are on food stamps. That's one in three Oregon residents, or 650,000 people, who use those little plastic Oregon Trail cards that I am now totally officially jealous of. I know I shouldn't think this -- and perhaps it's really only directed toward Mr. Two BMWs -- but man, what lucky bastards.

A Google search showed in 22 million results for "food stamps." Obviously our nation, not just our little West side hippie state, is having some hunger issues. It makes sense, considering that unemployment still hovers over 10 percent nationally and 11 percent in Oregon. Those numbers are depressing although perhaps not as depressing as the fact that those 90 percent who are employed and those 63 percent of Oregonians who don't have to (or can't I suppose in my case) be on food stamps are hesitant to help out those in need.

As a resident of Northwest Portland, I observe -- and yes, participate -- daily in ignoring those who are in greater need than myself. Every time I walk to work I shift my glance away from the man who sits on the corner of Hoyt and 23rd asking for spare change. I deny the homeless men selling copies of Street Roots in front of Fred Meyer's and Trader Joe's because I know that spending that dollar means three less meals for myself (When I'm buying pasta, that is).

And it makes me wonder, while at work, if the customers who bark at me to find every single queen duvet cover in the store knew that their single purchase could cover my rent and groceries for a month, if they'd change their mind and help a girl out instead of yelling at her like I am their personal slave.

Considering I don't drop a dollar to a man who is forced to sleep outside in below freezing temperatures, probably not.

Once you take away that statistical numbers and data, it's easier to see the sad little world we live in.

Maybe if I buy a Beamer, my life will magically become better. Think the state would help me out with that?

I didn't think so either. Perhaps if I buy a volvo or subaru....you know how Portland loves it's hippie vehicles.