$.99 Salmon and Chips

Casinos, in my humble and probably unworthy opinion, are a weird phenomenon. The casino is a place where you go, usually with your friends, to spend money in the hopes of gaining more money but armed with the knowledge that you're probably going to end up losing money. I mean, I get that casinos are just another form of entertainment, much like a movie, sports game or going out to eat, but at least I know that when I drop $10 for Avatar or $65 to see Coldplay (because let's face it, I'm the person who is going to be attending a concert far more often than a Blazer's game) or $30 on sushi, I'm getting something somewhat tangible back: A 3D-thrill ride, Chris Martin's forehead sweat and the best nourishment handily known to mankind. Dropping money at a casino? Well that just makes me feel cheap and used.

I bring up casinos in major part (Okay, in total part) to my commute to work today.

Sidebar: How sweet is it that I actually have a commute to work now? It's like I'm a real, live adult with a real, live job. End Sidebar.

While heading into the Terwilliger curves this gray Monday morning on I-5 southbound, I swerved past a semi that had an advertisement plastered on its backside for a casino. The new frugalista in me (Ugh, kick me next time you see me for using 'ista' as an actual suffix in my writing) immediately noticed the giant red "$.99" painted in the middle of the advertisement.

"What could possibly be just 99 cents?" I wondered as I veered abruptly between lanes (Those curves are scary and if you're not careful, quite dangerous, too. They should ban trucks with ads that boast of cheapness for that reason), coming dangerously close to a woman applying lipstick (Sure, talking on your cell phone is now a primary offense in Oregon but feel free to apply your Covergirl Clear Last Lipshine until the cows come home).

Turns out, a lot of things at Angel of the Winds casino, a Vegas-style casino up in Washington (Hey, I can Google) will cost you less than a dollar: You can dine on, what I'm sure is made of the finest, freshest and most local ingredients, strawberry shortcake, biscuits and sausage gravy, pepperoni French bread pizza, a corndog and French fries, Katie's famous chili (Famous maybe only because it's advertised on the back of a semi?) and, my personal favorite, salmon and chips.

Salmon? For $.99? You can't be serious. I might be cutting back on my food spending budget (My shrinking waistline shows the damage that a menu of coffee, tea, bread and the occasional piece of fruit will do to a person) but I am in no way, that desperate for a steal of a deal. The addition just simply doesn't make sense: There is no way that potatoes and oil costs less than a dollar, let alone salmon, breading and the oil needed to fry it in costs less than a buck (And let's not forget the costs of labor, shipping, storage and service supplies). I might not be a business major and math may no longer be a forte of mine but I've got enough common sense locked up in my brain to just say no to fish that costs less than a dollar.

Especially when it comes from a casino.